


Let Him Go

by burnie-church (CereittanyPrincess15)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-30 10:15:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10874679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CereittanyPrincess15/pseuds/burnie-church
Summary: Everyone at the office knew that Jordan had a crush on Brandon, everyone except him it seemed. When JJ suddenly becomes Jordan’s only confident in the matter the two become closer than they have had before, and when the truth comes out, who will Jordan choose?This is a retelling of my earlier fic I'm Not Jealous, and as such the story will follow the same basic path for a while.(Originally posted on January 13th 2014)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you're reading this, I instantly love you <3 While writing I'm Not Jealous I couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if the plot had followed my rareship of Jordan and JJ instead of Jordan and Brandon, and this fic was the result of that train of thought. This first chapter is pretty much the same as the original with a few slight differences, so you don't have to read the first if you don't want, the only thing missing is the end ship.
> 
> I think I've seen only like two other people ship this on tumblr, so if you ship it, you're awesome and I hope you guys enjoy :D

Jordan woke up at the same time he always did and headed for the bathroom, unsure if Brandon was still asleep, already at work, or just never came home the night before. He passed by the front door, noted the lack of shoes and came to the conclusion that yes, he definitely wasn’t home, and judging by the Advil bottle still in its place he hadn’t returned at all. To anyone else this would be worrying news. To Jordan, it was just another Monday.

Everyone at work knew that Brandon was a ladies’ man (or attempted to be), and because Jordan was currently staying with him, he knew it best of all. Too many nights he had come home with someone and proceeded to keep Jordan awake until she left or snuck out, while others he didn’t return until later in the day. A few times he had come in well after midnight, drunk off his ass and smelling of perfume, covered in hickies that he couldn’t seem to hide no matter what he wore.  He would wake Jordan up on these nights when he fumbled in the dark for something to dull the ache in his head, not wanting to turn on the lights and always making a ruckus in the process. Eventually Jordan learned how to tune him out.

As he showered he tried to remember what had happened the night before; he knew Brandon had gone out with Chris, JJ, and Blaine to film a Recap, so perhaps he had done a repeat performance of his last street Recap and had just gotten too drunk to drive? He shuddered thinking back on it, how he had to drive out there to bring him home lest he stay with one of their co-workers, how he stayed by his bedside all night to make sure he didn’t end up accidentally rolling off the bed and hit his head or something. The next morning he had gone into work with the worst pain in his back and neck while Brandon kept complaining about the worst hangover he’d ever had.

He was so difficult to live with on nights like these, and seeing as Jordan was the guest and Brandon the only one of their friends kind enough to give him a place to stay while he looked for an apartment he knew he had no room to complain. Of course, all things considered, he knew he couldn’t complain even if he wanted to, because it was little trivial things like that that made Jordan fall in the first place.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror, the fog on the glass having been wiped away so he could finish getting ready. He stood perfectly still, his damp hair falling into his eyes and dripping water down his face, just looking himself over and thinking, ‘Why am I not good enough?’ The girls Brandon went for were always skinny little things, very attractive and curvy and flirty and no matter where they went there always seemed to be at least one of them catching his eye.

Jordan was thin too, he was well aware of it, and if he squinted he could almost consider himself attractive; he took care of himself and was considered the classiest dresser in the whole company, a title he did not deny. But he lacked the curves Brandon sought, and his beard would surely be a problem when they kissed (he felt his face heat up and looked away a moment) when the other was so used to soft skin. He knew how to flirt but preferred to joke around with clever retorts and a certain level of sass, although he still had to successfully flirt with someone and not make the recipient laugh at him, and not in the good way.

Sighing, he got dressed, dried his hair and styled it, and headed for the kitchen to grab a glass of orange juice and some spare change for something to pick up on the way to work. Just as he went to open the door it unlocked and swung forward, startling him and almost hitting him in the face. He backed up as Brandon stumbled in, his eyes tired and his shoulders slumped; he smelled of alcohol with a slight hint of vomit, and Jordan couldn’t help but notice the lipstick kiss on his collar and the new hicky on his neck.

‘Oh, hey Jordan. Heading out?’ Brandon muttered as he immediately went for the coffee maker, not even bothering to take off his shoes and letting his coat fall to the floor.

‘Yeah, I’ve gotta revise a little section of the RTAA and talk to Shane about his part, why? Do you want me to drive you in?’ he asked from the door, Brandon shaking his head and stretching, almost spilling his cupful of water as he did.

‘Nah, I’ll be there in about an hour. If Gus asks where I am just cover for me, okay?’ Jordan unconsciously gripped the door a little tighter, putting on a smile before saying goodbye and heading for his car. He kept a straight face until he was safe in the vehicle, letting his expression change to one of slight anger. He’d covered for Brandon before, that was nothing new, and it wasn’t like he was angry because he came in late. It was more like he was mad at himself for feeling this way, because as soon as he had seen the mark he had felt a twinge of pain in his chest and the bitter taste of jealousy against whoever this girl was that had given it to him.

He had realized he was jealous long before he had realized his own feelings towards his temporary roommate, so finding out that he was probably very much in love with the man by wishing he had been the one Brandon had more than likely slept with the night before wasn’t his favourite revelation. He should’ve clued in the night he had woken up squirming and lightly thrusting into the couch cushion after dreaming about him, but had chalked it up to Brandon currently bedding some girl less than 40 feet away from him and being rather loud about it and went back to sleep.

By the time he got to work he was wrapped up in his thoughts, not even hearing JJ calling out to him until Kyle and Chris had joined in and were collectively yelling his name. When he finally noticed he nearly jumped out of his skin, tripping over his own feet and falling to the pavement. Thankfully Blaine noticed and grabbed onto him, the others laughing at his clumsiness as he steadied himself and walked into the Annex. They all followed, Chris and Kyle going to their desks as JJ plopped into his chair and rolled over to his friend, noting the lack of Brandon to Jordan's right.

‘Lemme guess: he’s at home, curled up in a bunch of blankets with the lights off and all the Advil in the house next to his bed again, am I right?’ JJ joked, Jordan glancing at him before shaking his head.

‘Not this time, he’s just gotta shower and brush his teeth a few times; he said he’d be here in an hour.’ JJ didn’t look convinced.

‘If you say so. I’m guessing his girlfriend got home safe then?’ JJ didn’t notice the way Jordan's hand twitched as he dropped his USB onto the desk.

‘Girlfriend? When did that happened?’ He was positively certain he wasn’t hiding the falter in his voice.

‘I’m kidding; he met up with someone after the Recap and went off with her, what else is new?’

‘You guys talking about that girl Brandon hooked up with?’ Blaine asked from his corner of the room. JJ nodded and Jordan turned to him to see that he was smiling. ‘She was hot. I was honestly surprised she said yes.’

‘Me too!’ Chris laughed, the both of them chatting together as Jordan sat down and tried not to compare himself to this girl as well. JJ noticed the way his jaw was set and how hard he was staring at his screen, his own eyes falling to the floor before leaning in. if Jordan had been looking his way he would’ve seen how his attitude had changed almost entirely, JJ swiveling his chair back and forth and not-so-casually turning on his computer.

‘You should’ve seen this girl, she was _way_ outta his league.’ Jordan clenched his teeth to try and keep his composure, JJ taking note and continuing, ‘She was about your height, brown hair, was wearing this outfit that made me think of you- come to think of it, she kinda looked like you. Yeah, she looked a lot like you, only in girl form. Weird…’ A pause fell between them until Blaine cried out, agreeing with JJ’s statement and questioning if he had inadvertently just called Jordan hot. Kyle and Kara laughed at him as Chris joined in, JJ giving Jordan a brief glance before turning to his computer with a small sigh and leaving him be.

Jordan booted up his own computer, looking over at JJ for some sort of explanation as to why he felt the need to point that out, but received nothing. He furrowed his brow and went to work, fine-tuning a shot of a car exploding and starting on the lip syncing. He didn’t notice Brandon come in until he was sitting down, looking and smelling a lot nicer than before, although he still looked horribly tired. Everyone said their hellos and he got to work, but not before nudging Jordan to get his attention and thank him.

Jordan pointed out that he didn’t have to cover for him that morning, keeping his eyes on the screen and ignoring the feeling of Brandon’s hand on his shoulder. ‘No I mean… thanks for dealing with my bullshit lately. It’s been really shitty of me to keep bringing girls home and expecting you to take care of me, but I’m gunna try and stop that. You’ve been real patient with me, so how about we go out tonight for drinks? It’s on me.’ Jordan’s mouth fell open as Brandon squeezed his shoulder and smiled, looking like he truly wanted to spend the night with him and quit his rather bad habits.

‘Uh- yeah, sure! We can do that, although it’s a little early in the week to get drunk,’ he replied with a big grin on his face, Brandon’s own smile growing before they turned to their computers and got back to work; Jordan smiled all the way to lunch, hardly able to concentrate on what he was doing at the thought of him and Brandon hanging out like old times, just the two of them with no friends or girls to distract them.

When lunch rolled around though and everyone heard the sound of shouting coming from the other building, they all ran over to see Miles and Kerry screaming and jumping around like excited schoolgirls, Monty asleep at his desk. Everyone just stared as more people joined in until Burnie came downstairs and opened a bottle of champagne and explained that they had just finished up the first finale for RWBY and that everyone was going to go to dinner tonight to celebrate.

Jordan was two seconds away from declining the offer to go when Burnie asked him when Brandon piped up with, ‘Of course! We weren’t really doing anything tonight, right Jordan?’

JJ looked to his friend just in time to see a look of _something_ flash across his face before he was smiling, his hands gripping for anything he could reach just to hold on to it. ‘You guys can go ahead, I was gunna stay late tonight and start the new RTAA. Is Geoff in the Achievement Hunter office? I have to ask him if Griffon can be in the next episode,’ he said as cheerfully as he could muster, slipping away from the group to head down the hall. He looked back to Brandon who watched him go, his expression a little confused before he shrugged and headed over to congratulate Miles and Kerry on their first completed show. In his misery he didn’t even hear JJ calling his name.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still following the plot as the original, but one of my fav changes is in this chapter, so I hope you guys enjoy it too <3

Jordan kept to himself for the rest of the day, only answering when someone asked for something important, and keeping out of small talk altogether. When everyone started packing up to get ready for dinner he stayed behind like he said he would, Geoff having given him the okay and downloading the podcast he needed. With all the work he had done that day he had finished the RTAA and rendered it, as well as picked a few future ideas to do for the rest of the month.

As he watched the download bar he heard Brandon say goodnight and that he’d see him at home, but he couldn’t bring himself to answer. His friend stood there a moment before walking out with the others, JJ giving him a look before joining them. Now he was alone, and as soon as he was sure no one else was there he let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair, taking off his headphones and closing his eyes. He wasn’t as angry as he was before, but Brandon’s words still stung. He knew he shouldn’t be angry because this really was a big deal for Miles and Kerry and he really was happy for them, but for a few hours he had thought that they would spend the night together, just the two of them.

For a few hours he had thought that he could pretend they were…

Jordan jumped when the door opened again, and he quickly spun around with a smile on his face, expecting to see Brandon standing there but instead seeing… JJ? His smile fell and JJ couldn’t help but make a face at his reaction, unzipping his jacket and hanging it off of the nearest chair. ‘What’re you doing back here so soon?’ Jordan asked, JJ booting up his computer and sitting down with an air of casualty that seemed a little forced.

‘Changed my mind about dinner, would rather finish editing the Let’s Build before Geoff bitches at me tomorrow about whether it’s done or not,’ he replied, Jordan nodding because he knew how that felt, and went back to paying attention to his download again. ‘Plus you looked like you could use some company. Mind if I order a pizza? I’m actually starving right now.’

Jordan smiled for the first time since that morning, JJ smiling back before asking for his pizza preference. It was strange, because Jordan had spent time with JJ before at work or when they all went out, but being with just him and a couple boxes of pizza was the most relaxing thing Jordan had done in quite a while. They didn’t spend a lot of nights together like this seeing as they were in this constant battle of insults and sass, all in good fun of course, and when they were in a group they always had someone more important to talk to. But as JJ tried a slice of Jordan’s pizza and made this awful face of anguish because really how could he eat that garbage, Jordan found himself wondering why they hadn’t spent more time together.

When the pizza was gone and they mutually decided that they should really get back to work, a comfortable silence filled the room, mixed with muffled sounds of Gavin proposing stupid things to Geoff and Griffon telling Brandon what for. A couple hours of solid editing and animating went by before JJ stopped to stretch, Jordan taking a break as well because his wrist was starting to hurt. JJ said something that was blocked out thanks to Jordan’s headphones, so he removed them and asked what he said, JJ’s expression turning a little somber before he repeated himself.

‘I said, maybe you should give up on your little puppy crush.’

Jordan’s grin faltered for a second before he went back to checking over his progress, a nervous laugh in his voice. ‘Where did this come from all of a sudden?’

‘Well it’s not like I can just ask you during work, and you don’t come out with us much anymore, but that’s not the point.’ Jordan glanced over and saw that JJ had turned his chair so that he was completely facing him, and the comfortable silence in the room started to change into something rather tense. ‘The point is that it’s pretty obvious that the crush isn’t going anywhere, and that you’re pretty miserable about it. Just let him go, Jordan.’

Jordan spun in his chair, locking eyes with JJ and praying that his expression was more serious than scared. ‘Wait a minute, whoever said it was a guy? Whoever said I have a _crush_? I think you’re reading a little too deeply into whatever you think is going on here-’

‘We all know it’s Brandon, hell the whole _company_ knows, it’s not like you’re hiding it well,’ JJ snapped, Jordan sinking down in his chair, his cheeks turning red with anger and embarrassment. ‘I’m not trying to call you out on liking a dude, I seriously don’t give a shit about that, but Brandon’s a jackass and the longer you like him the more he’s going to keep hurting you.’

‘You don’t know anything…’ Jordan muttered, clinging to the hope that JJ was absolutely wrong and that it really wasn’t completely one-sided.

‘I know that he ditched you tonight and that he’ll probably bring someone else home again, because that’s just who he is. You work next to the guy and even live with him, you know that this isn’t something new! For God’s sake, are you happy knowing that you’re constantly torturing yourself with this?’ JJ worked himself up so much that he found himself on his feet, Jordan never seeing him like this before. He’d only seen his happy side, the fun one that forced Recaps on people and constantly teased him. This side was completely new and, if he were to be frankly honest, he didn’t like it.

So he got to his feet as well and began to gather his things, JJ watching him with a befuddled expression.

‘What are you doing?’ he asked, Jordan ignoring him as he saved his work a few times before shutting down his computer for the night. ‘Are you serious- where are you going?’

‘I’m going home,’ Jordan hissed, pulling out his car keys and unlocking it from the door. ‘Have fun with your Let’s Build, I’ll see you tomorrow.’ He reached for the door but found himself not taking another step, JJ clinging to his jacket sleeve and keeping him in place.

‘Jordan I’m serious, I’m sorry for yelling but he’s just going to hurt you again and I-’ JJ cut himself off before he could say any more, but his eyes were still pleading with him. When he refused to continue Jordan yanked his arm free, thanking him for the pizza as he unlocked the Annex door and walked out into the cold. The drive home was quiet, and entering the apartment was even quieter, the sound of him kicking off his shoes and hanging up his coat almost intrusive. He looked to Brandon’s room before collapsing on the couch, opting to just go to bed and trying to forget everything JJ had said.

When Brandon came home later that night he noticed with a pang in his chest that JJ was right, because he had brought company again.


	3. Chapter 3

Jordan was rather unlike himself for the rest of the week, starting on Tuesday when he saw JJ waiting for him by the front door only to have Jordan walk right past him, and getting worse when he finally got a chance to watch the new Recap; he didn’t hide his distaste when he saw that Brandon was flirting with the women hanging out at the downtown Halloween party but did manage not to say anything about it. He gave Burnie the new RTAA and went to work on the next episode, choosing a little bit from Podcast 82 when Griffon chewed Brandon out for his little comment on how she was raising Millie to have bad habits when she grew older.

A few times the others would glance over and try to guess what story he was telling, hearing a couple of them place bets when they were more confident on their choice when they saw Griffon. Working on the animation calmed him down a little despite hearing Brandon constantly talking in his ear thanks to the clip, although it helped because was being a total jackass and Griffon was having none of his shit. When noon rolled around and JJ offered to take him out to lunch to make up for their little spat the night before he sighed but accepted, unable to ignore his growling stomach for much longer; obviously Brandon wouldn’t be joining them. So they stepped out for a bit and Jordan had to admit that he’d been holding his breath the whole day and stepping out of the Annex was a huge relief to him, even if he still felt a little angry at what JJ had said.

Their lunch together relaxed Jordan enough that he could laugh and joke around with him again, neither of them bringing up the fight or Jordan’s unrequited love. The drive back was almost depressing because he knew who he’d have to sit next to and eventually go home with again, and although they both were aware JJ didn’t turn that into another argument. Before they went inside Jordan hesitated before grabbing onto JJ’s sleeve to mirror the previous night and quietly thanked him, his friend giving him an almost sad smile before pulling him into a quick hug and walking inside.

On Wednesday everyone saw the new RTAA and applauded him and Shane for it, almost everyone impressed with the explosion he had been stressing about all week. Everyone convinced him to take a little time off to goof around with them for the new RT Life, and by the end of filming he felt like all his troubles from Monday were long gone. His mood lifted even more when Brandon was the one to invite him to lunch that day, and this time he didn’t cancel their plans.

Jordan didn’t notice the look JJ gave him as the two grabbed their coats and left together slightly behind the group, JJ staying behind ‘to edit’.

By Thursday everything was back to the way it was, he and Brandon having stayed up late to order pizza and watch movies with no one else and _especially_ no girls involved. He came to work chipper and full of energy, getting a great deal of animation done and helping anyone who needed anything, even if it was to go next door to grab a coffee. When 8 o’clock rolled around and everyone began talking about going out to the bar Jordan spun around in his chair to join them, Brandon asking if he wanted to go and finally apologizing about what he had done on Monday. Jordan forgave him and, at the request of their co-workers, they hugged it out.

Jordan tried to hide how red his face had become by running next door to grab a snack. JJ missed the whole thing by putting on his headphones and watching over his own editing progress.

That night everyone gathered around their cars, Chris opting out for once. JJ was already filming, planning on documenting the entire night to everyone’s displeasure. Jordan had driven Brandon to work that day so they didn’t have to drive in separate cars, and despite how many times they had carpooled together Jordan couldn’t help but feel nervous when Brandon got into the passenger seat. He didn’t know why, but tonight just felt… different.

Maybe it was because they hadn’t properly hung out together in a while? He didn’t know, but the feeling remained all the way to the bar, and he pushed it to the back of his mind as they sat down and ordered drinks.

Ordering took a lot less time without Chris there (perhaps that was why he had opted out?) and in no time they were all drinking and laughing at something Kyle had said. JJ was still filming like he said he was going to, and Blaine was catching the eye of a few lovely ladies, although he would never walk up to any of them of course; only their group knew how nervous he got around girls, and JJ had admitted that it was one of his endearing qualities when he found out. 

For some reason this had Jordan frowning for a split-second before he realized that what JJ thought of Blaine had absolutely nothing to do with him.

A couple hours passed by like nothing, Jordan just on the edge of drunk and Brandon already long gone. Blaine didn’t drink as much and Kyle had left to catch a late movie with his girlfriend, so now it was just the four of them with Blaine as the designated driver for JJ once he became too drunk to drive, which, judging by the number of beers he had already downed, would be any minute now. Brandon got up to grab himself another drink, Jordan giving him some money to grab him one too, and as soon as the former was gone JJ turned his camera on Jordan and forced a grin; the alcohol was making it harder for him to do so as the night went on, Jordan noticed.

‘It’s been a while since you’ve been out with us. How does it feel?’ he asked as professionally as he could, Jordan smiling that smile of his nonetheless and shrugging.

‘It’s been fun, I really missed going out like this.’ He paused, frowning a little. ‘This… isn’t going up on YouTube, right?’ he asked, knowing for certain that JJ had definitely caught a few of the looks he’d given Brandon over the night on camera and that the internet was sure to pick up on them if they saw, and the _last_ thing he needed was for them to know too. It was bad enough the whole company did.

‘Maybe as a future RT Life, I dunno,’ he told him with a shrug of his own, giving him a small smile before turning his attention to Blaine. He was about to ask him a question when he looked past him and saw Brandon at the bar, someone standing with him. ‘Christ- not again.’

‘What?’ Jordan didn’t even have to ask before he was looking as well, spotting his friend leaning as casually as he could against the bar and talking to a girl waiting for her own drink; judging by his (attempted) seductive expression and her calm refusal he was trying to buy her a drink, and even though he tried not to Jordan couldn’t help but let his face fall, his shoulders slumping and chest aching slightly when Brandon laughed at something she had said.

JJ looked at Jordan but didn’t say anything, his camera focused on the table so it wouldn’t pick up how sad he was before Jordan felt his eyes on him and put on a smile. ‘What’s with the look?’ he asked, continuing to smile as JJ merely frowned at him, his own expression unreadable to a degree.

They stared at each other, Jordan trying to understand exactly what JJ was trying to convey when Brandon sat back down, their drinks in his hands and a big, dumb smile on his face. ‘So how’d it go?’ Blaine barely had time to ask before Brandon was pulling out a slip of paper from his pocket and flashing the girl’s number to the table, his smile growing wider.

Jordan grabbed his drink and drank as fast as he could, his throat burning and his eyes watering, everyone just staring at him in awe as he set the glass back down and coughed. He put his smile back on and clapped a hand on Brandon’s shoulder, the latter almost buckling from the force of it. ‘Hey, congrats buddy. She’s really pretty,’ he lied, the corners of his mouth twitching when Brandon smiled at him and nodded, staring happily at the number before putting it safely back in his pocket.

Another hour went by before any of them knew it, JJ putting his camera away when the battery died and Blaine ordering a bit of food to make up for the drinks he wasn’t having with Brandon making up for them himself. By this point Jordan had sobered up a bit so that Blaine wouldn’t have to drive them all home, although every time Brandon talked about the new girl he’d met it only made him want to drink more. He tried to ignore the glances JJ would give him each time the girl was brought up, but when Blaine asked Brandon if he was going to go home with her and Brandon said he’d try, Jordan couldn’t ignore the shoe making contact with his shin. He let out a cry of pain and glared at him, JJ glaring back just as hard, the both of them just looking at one another until Brandon raised his eyebrows and got up to get another drink.

Jordan waited until Brandon was just out of earshot before leaning forward across the table, JJ not even flinching when he slammed his hands onto the table. ‘What the hell is your problem? You’re being more of a prick than usual tonight!’ he hissed, JJ groaning before standing, Blaine jumping and scrambling to get up so that JJ was free to leave. JJ reached over and grabbed onto Jordan’s shirt, using all his strength to literally pull him from the booth and out into an empty area where they could talk freely.

Jordan opened his mouth to ask if JJ could finally tell him what was up when JJ began pacing in front of him, his hands gripping his hair and messing it up. ‘I told you, I fucking _told_ you that he’d do this, but did you listen to me?’ Jordan’s mouth shut immediately, his eyes wide as he just watched JJ in stunned silence. ‘It’s like he’s doing this on purpose, there’s no way he’s that stupid to not know how you feel, _god_ why does he have to be such an asshole- you were right next to him!’

It took Jordan a moment to realize that JJ was getting upset _for_ him and not at him, he was taking Jordan’s feelings into consideration and fuming over Brandon’s actions when Jordan refused to do so outwardly. Jordan held out a hand to try and calm JJ down or to at least stop the pacing because a few people were starting to stare, but JJ shrugged him off and only got angrier.

‘No! Every day I go to work and see the way you look at him, every day I hear more and more tales about his one night stands like they’re something to be proud of, every single fucking day I have to keep my goddamn mouth shut because it doesn’t matter what I think even though you’re not the only one getting ignored because there’s always someone better! I mean-’ JJ’s eyes went wide when he realized his rant had gone on a little too long, his hands falling down to his sides as Jordan’s expression changed.

Time seemed to slow as they just stared at each other, the loud music and sounds of people trying to shout over it fading out into nothing as JJ’s anger melted away into fear, then sadness. He began to babble out apologies, Jordan not really hearing them before he silenced JJ and took a step forward. ‘You like someone at the office too?’

Jordan couldn’t tell if the sound JJ made was happy or sad. ‘Yeah, something like that,’ he said, quickly catching the look of curiosity and continuing with, ‘but I can’t tell you who. Not right now.’

Jordan nodded in understanding, now feeling terrible for getting mad at JJ before when they were apparently going through the same thing. It wasn’t really fair though on JJ’s end because he was a lot better at hiding who he liked so Jordan had no idea who it was. The two stood around for a while, not knowing what to say before JJ excused himself to grab another drink, but not before asking if Jordan wanted anything first.

‘Nah, I’ve gotta drive tonight, so drinking any more would be a bad idea,’ he said, and then they were going in different directions, JJ to the bar and Jordan back to the booth where Blaine was munching down on his fries. Blaine welcomed him back and asked where JJ got to, Jordan telling him that he was getting another drink before stealing a fry and eating it while he tried to figure out who it was JJ liked. As the silence grew and it remained the two of them, Blaine began to look around awkwardly for any sign of their friends, the table shrouded in a tense silence as Jordan couldn’t guess. When a minute had passed and nothing had been said, Jordan let out a groan and fell back onto his seat, glad they were in a booth as he pushed himself into the corner and just waited for Brandon to get back so he could ask if he could go home; by this point he didn’t care if he left with or without him.

When ten whole minutes had passed and the two had yet to return Jordan excused himself from the table to find them, Blaine keeping their table and possessions safe as the worry of Brandon having passed out somewhere or gotten into trouble was quickly overcoming the thoughts of JJ’s possible crush. He checked the bar and found nothing, not even JJ, looking around at everyone for a familiar face before checking the bathroom. He pushed past a few people and entered the short hallway that led to the bathrooms, coming to a dead stop when he recognized the two people just ahead of him.

JJ had apparently found Brandon because he had him pressed against the wall, both of their faces red and a little too close to each other to just be talking. JJ noticed Jordan first, his eyes going wide when he realized that they’d been caught. ‘No, Jordan this isn’t what it looks like,’ he said quickly, Brandon turning to see who he was talking to. As soon as their eyes met Jordan lost all control, his hands clenching as he turned and ran, ignoring the shouts that followed him and were quickly drowned out by the noises of the bar.

He ran right to the table to grab his things as quickly as he could, knowing he wouldn’t be able to face Blaine like this, ‘this’ being the way his chest felt like it was going to explode for reasons he didn’t quite understand. He ignored Blaine’s question of, ‘What happened?’ as he sorted through the mess of coats to find his before heading for the door, shoving it open and letting his feet try to carry him as far away from the building as possible. God he was pathetic; he should’ve known that Brandon was the one JJ liked as well, what with all that talk of letting him go and that he was also being ignored, thinking that he could disguise his own hurt by masking it as Jordan’s. He knew how Jordan had felt and went for him anyway, thinking he could get away with it as long as Jordan was too afraid to confess.

He felt so angry at the both of them, Brandon for being such a clueless asshole and JJ for being braver than he was. Jordan had kinda convinced himself that it would’ve at least been Blaine that he’d fallen for, but out of all the people why did it have to be _Brandon_?

He didn’t know someone was chasing after him until he was being pulled into an alley and pressed into the wall, his heart pounding in his ears the whole time. He didn’t know it was JJ until he heard his voice telling him that he had just come in at a bad time, that nothing was happening between them, but no matter how hard he tried Jordan couldn’t tell him to shut up.

He didn’t know he was crying until JJ asked him why he was.

Jordan’s eyes widened before he reached up and tried to wipe the tears away, his arm falling limply to his side when he realized they weren’t stopping. Instead he tried to push JJ off, the grip on his shoulders becoming tighter to make sure he stayed where he was and listened to what he had to say. ‘Let me go,’ he mumbled, trying to use all his strength to get free only to find his energy just gone. When JJ refused to move he tried again, their eyes meeting and JJ flinching when he saw the pain in his friend’s eyes. ‘JJ I’m not kidding, _let me go_.’ He thrashed around for a moment before he became all too aware of the hands on his shoulders and he stilled, his chin hitting his chest as he tried to hide his face in the shadows off the alley.

The two of them just stood there as Jordan tried to stop crying, his soft sobs the only sound that reached them despite the world still turning around them, JJ’s voice breaking the silence and sounding foreign to the both of them. ‘Jordan, I swear to god it wasn’t what it looked like.’ Jordan made a noise of disagreement, JJ frowning sadly and holding onto him a little tighter. ‘Look, I had found him kissing that girl from before, the one who gave him her number, and I thought of you and I just- I lost it, okay? I punched him and started yelling and was just ready to beat the shit outta him when you came around the corner. What you saw was me telling him to open his eyes, not…’

Jordan didn’t look up, unsure if he preferred the thought of JJ punching Brandon over the thought of them kissing, because even though Brandon was a jackass he didn’t want him getting _hurt_ for his sake. When JJ had nothing else to add Jordan tried to get free again and this time succeeded, muttering that he didn’t need JJ to stand up for him and that he’d deal with this on his own. ‘I don’t need Brandon to like me back, and I’m good enough being just his friend if it comes down to it. Maybe you should concentrate on your own crush instead of worrying about mine,’ he said, JJ swallowing his words as Jordan headed for his car. ‘Oh, and ask Blaine if he’ll take home Brandon too, ‘cause I’m done for tonight.’

Jordan got into his car and sat there a moment to collect himself, watching as JJ debated on approaching him before heading back inside. As soon as he got home he collapsed on the couch and wrapped himself up with as many blankets as he could, his heart still pounding as he thought back to how close JJ had been to him. When Brandon stumbled in an hour later, Jordan pretended like he was asleep to avoid spending the night apologizing for Brandon’s new black eye.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one today, but now we're into new territory ^w^ I hope you guys enjoy and have a great weekend <3

Jordan was up earlier than Brandon the next morning on account of unpleasant dreams jolting him awake, as per the norm when he drank more than 3 beers in one night. He cursed himself and tried to go back to sleep, but the sun was shining through the window and right into his eyes so he begrudgingly got up and headed for the aspirin. It wasn’t until after he had reached for his coffee mug that he checked the clock, and once the numbers 11 and 41 registered in his mind he remembered that today was only Friday and that he really needed to get to work.

He had the fastest shower of his life and grabbed the first clean clothes he saw, yelling for Brandon to get up and that they were late only to receive something hitting the bedroom door in response, probably a pillow. He waited for as long as he could before rushing for his car, praying to a higher power that today wasn’t a day where Matt stopped by to see what was up. He pulled into the parking lot at a speed at would rival Joel’s driving and tripped over his coat as he stepped out of his car and right onto the sleeve. He had tried to pull it on before driving but had just ended up with it on his lap, and now it was on the ground with one sleeve under his foot and the other in his hand.

He fell and grabbed onto his car door for dear life, already hating the day and muttering to himself that if it got any worse he was going to drive off a bridge next. He looked around the lot and noticed that JJ must’ve been in a masochistic mood because even though it was freezing out he had still managed to ride his bike in to work. He approached the building a little slower now that his ankle was hurting, and sure enough when he opened the door he found no one inside because they were probably all on their lunch break. He cringed at the sound it made that was all too loud and ready to alert everyone that he was late, but instead of getting chewed out he heard the sound of two people shouting from the studio.

‘What do you mean you let him go home? You’ve been waiting for a moment like that all year, how could you just walk away?’ Jordan sneaked over to the corner, recognizing the first voice as Blaine’s. He peeked in and saw that Blaine was standing over JJ who was sitting on the podcast couch, his eyes on the floor and his expression almost… sad?

‘It just wasn’t the right time,’ JJ tried to say, but Blaine wouldn’t hear of it, his voice not angry but not forgiving either.

‘Well, between the two of you tiptoeing around the same problem, I don’t think it’ll ever be the right time then.’ JJ frowned and shrugged, trying to appear like he was content with that when he clearly wasn’t. ‘Look dude, I love you, I really do, but you gotta stop backing out of this before it’s too late. You gotta tell-’

It was then JJ looked up to meet Blaine’s eyes, only to see Jordan and stand up in surprise. Blaine stopped and turned, the both of them very quiet and making Jordan feel like he had just stumbled upon some top secret mission that was punishable by death if anyone else found out. Jordan coughed and stepped into view, his cheeks turning pink.

‘Sorry, I uh, I heard you guys and curiosity got the better of me,’ he said, JJ giving Blaine a look that was returned with something more stern before they walked over.

‘We weren’t really expecting you to come in today once 10 o’clock rolled by,’ JJ said with a smile that died almost instantly. As soon as he passed him he noticed something and ran for his computer, Jordan turning to see that JJ had left his editing software open and was currently looking through some clips off his camera. Jordan walked over and this only made JJ all the more flustered, quickly saving his project and trying to close the window before Jordan saw. But luck was on neither of their sides that morning, so Jordan got an eyeful right before the program closed of the night before, and all the things JJ had filmed.

In that moment he had seen that JJ was editing together the footage, and right on the preview window was himself, looking at the camera with a happy smile that made JJ’s cheeks turn a darker shade of red every time he glanced at it. The beginning of the clip was apparently before Brandon had gotten the girl’s number, because there he was sitting next to him, and Jordan felt embarrassed because JJ had managed to capture just how much he adored Brandon from the look he was giving him, even if it was just one frame from the whole clip. He cleared his throat and looked away, JJ quickly saying that it was for the RT Life and that he was going through all of Jordan’s clips to get rid of the ones like that for the final version.

Behind them Blaine let out a sigh but they both ignored it and went back to work without grabbing any lunch.

Brandon didn’t come in at all that day, and he waited until Jordan was about ready to leave before texting him. He took out his phone and eagerly checked the message, only to feel like something had punched him in the chest; Brandon had invited the girl from the bar over for supper at their place, so Jordan wasn’t exactly allowed home that night for obvious reasons. JJ noticed Jordan’s expression and the miserable way he was looking at his phone almost immediately, knowing it wasn’t his place but asking anyway.

‘Is it him?’ Jordan put his phone away and nodded, a soft ‘yeah’ leaving his lips.

‘He has company tonight, so I need someplace to stay,’ he said quietly so the others wouldn’t hear, JJ running a hand through his hair before sighing.

‘Alright, meet me in the parking lot in 10 minutes then. You can follow me in your car and stay at my place,’ he mumbled, Jordan looking at him in surprise.

‘You don’t have to, I mean I can ask someone else if you don’t want me there, I wasn’t even really asking, I’m sure Burnie wouldn’t mind if I slept here tonight if it came down to it, are you sure it’s alright?’ he asked quickly, JJ chuckling and nodding as he made sure to take off his headphones before standing this time.

‘It’s fine, just don’t expect anything spectacular; didn’t expect to have company tonight so the place is a bit of a mess.’ Jordan smiled and thanked him, JJ waving it off and punching Blaine lightly in the arm when he gave him a smile of his own. Jordan gathered up his stuff and tripled-saved his work, making sure he wasn’t forgetting anything before rushing out. He found himself speechless when he saw JJ leaning next to his bike, his bandana over his mouth and his goggles hiding his eyes, his jacket zipped up to the top to make sure he stayed warm. JJ nodded in his direction and finished putting on his gloves before hopping onto his bike, Jordan frozen in place until the revving engine propelled him to his car.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter was so much fun, I hope you guys enjoy <3

As they drove JJ occasionally shot glances back to Jordan to make sure he was still following him, Jordan gripping the steering wheel in fear every single time because he was seriously worried he was going to crash if he kept that up. The drive was a bit further than he expected, and during that time Jordan found himself wondering what it’d be like to ride a motorcycle, seeing as he had never done it before and there JJ was with one; maybe if he asked nicely enough he might get to ride with him someday. But of course thinking about riding with JJ made him think about how close they’d be and how he’d probably have his arms around his waist to keep from falling off so he pushed that thought aside and turned on the radio instead.

When they finally reached JJ’s place Jordan was actually kind of nervous, having never spent more than a few hours with the guy outside of work and now suddenly he was going to stay over. What if they started talking about Brandon again? What if JJ didn’t actually like him that much as a person and they couldn’t stand each other for longer than a certain amount of time? What if JJ was actually some psycho who never let it show at work?

Okay that last one was just paranoia, but still he couldn’t help but worry as JJ put away his bike and motioned for him to come inside. Jordan took a deep breath and let it out slowly, gathering his coat and getting back out into the cold. JJ hopped from foot to foot as he tried to open the door as fast as he could, Jordan chuckling at the sight and then they were inside where it was warm, Jordan finding himself at a loss for words.

If Brandon’s apartment had been a decent mirror of him as a person in real life, then JJ’s small home was a perfect mirror. Everywhere he looked there were film things from pictures to cameras, the entire place feeling like a vintage black and white photo. The faint smell of smoke was in the air and normally Jordan would’ve wrinkled his noise at it but he found it somewhat familiar, seeing as he sat next to JJ nearly every day. There were things scattered everywhere and yet there wasn’t a dirty dish in sight, his kitchen counter rid of them and instead housing a few random things here and there.

‘Sorry about the mess, uh if you want you can have my bed, I don’t mind sleeping on the couch. I was gunna edit some stuff tonight for a personal project anyway. If you need some clothes I can find you a t-shirt and some PJs; I hope you don’t mind band shirts.’ Jordan took off his coat and shook his head, not realizing that JJ was already down to his jeans and shirt, his helmet, bandana, and goggles resting on the coffee table by the couch.

‘Oh no it’s fine, I can just sleep in this and change when I get home tomorrow.’ Jordan didn’t realize how flustered the thought of wearing JJ’s clothes was making him until he noticed he was fidgeting with the bottom of his coat; where the hell did this nervousness come from? ‘Something to drink would be nice though, maybe a sandwich… unless you wanna order out because I could go for some Jersey Mike’s if you could.’

Jordan was pretty sure that he had never felt this awkward around anyone since he first joined Rooster Teeth and got acquainted with the people he looked up to. He liked Brandon and JJ was just his friend if he could even call him that with the amount of relentless teasing they did, so why was his heart pounding now that they were alone? JJ seemed to read his mind because he backed off, grabbing a drink and going through his pile of take-out menus to find the one Jordan desired.

With JJ out of the room Jordan felt a little better, hanging his coat over the arm of the couch and taking off his shoes. He sat down and sank into the couch cushions, his back thanking him because he had apparently been standing a lot straighter than normal out of anxiety and the result was pain. As he relaxed JJ came back with his drink, Jordan downing it faster than he wanted. He ended up choking a little and coughing, JJ laughing but still seriously asking if he was alright. Jordan laughed amidst his coughs and handed the glass back so he could get a refill before he choked to death, and when JJ went to take it from him their hands touched.

They both let go of the glass as a reaction, and it was a good thing JJ was quick because he was just able to grab it, Jordan getting to his feet. ‘Sorry, I thought you had it!’

‘That was my fault, my grip wasn’t as tight as it should’ve been.’

JJ returned in no time and Jordan downed that glass as well, clearing his throat and thanking him. ‘So, what do you do for fun around here? We’ve got some time to kill before it gets late enough to pass out,’ Jordan said as playfully as he could, not wanting his first official night out with JJ to end up continuing to be so awkward and tense.

‘Well, I like movies, if you hadn’t noticed. You wanna watch one with me?’ When Jordan nodded JJ’s smile lifted and he raced over to the shelf by his TV, looking through his titles to find a good one. When he found the perfect one he popped it in, running to the kitchen to order the food while the trailers played. When the menu faded in and JJ got ready to press play, he hesitated a moment about speaking up concerning something before he did and nearly startled Jordan out of his seat. ‘Hey, I don’t usually do this but, I gotta tell you that I have this thing about movies.’

‘…What kind of thing?’

‘A thing where if you talk during it I _will_ rewind to rewatch the part you talked over.’ JJ tried to smile but Jordan could see that he was serious, and because he followed him on twitter he had seen the few tweets relating to such problems happening before, but even so he couldn’t help but laugh.

‘I promise I won’t talk, just play the damn movie.’ JJ’s smile widened and he pressed play, the two of them settling in. JJ only had to pause once when the subs arrived, and even though Jordan wanted to say things during certain parts he always caught himself before a single sound could leave his mouth. As the movie went on and they finished their food, Jordan didn’t realize that somehow they had gotten closer to each other until he went to stretch out his legs and their knees bumped.

JJ tore his eyes away from the film to look down, Jordan noticing the way his eyes lit up even in the darkness of the room. Out of the corner of Jordan’s eye it looked like JJ wanted to say something, but as soon as he turned to face him JJ was watching the movie again, his body turned away from him. Jordan didn’t say anything back and they finished the movie in a different kind of silence.

When it was over JJ turned the lights on to check for another one, Jordan turning down the option to choose because he trusted his good taste. As JJ looked Jordan took out his phone and noticed that he’d gotten a text from Brandon, and in the excitement of the movie he hadn’t even heard the notification go off. He opened it to see that Brandon’s date had gone a little sour and that he could come home and play video games if he wanted. Jordan didn’t realize that he’d drowned everything out until he felt JJ’s presence right beside him; apparently JJ had found another good one, and when Jordan didn’t answer he turned to see him with the same expression he’d had on at work.

‘What’s he want this time?’ he asked a little too stiffly, Jordan showing him the text. ‘No.’

‘No?’

‘No.’

‘What’s _that_ supposed to mean?’ JJ turned away from him and concentrated on getting the DVD out of its case without snapping it in two.

‘You were gunna spend the night with me, he doesn’t get to steal you away again. Now do you wanna watch this or should I find a better one?’

‘Whoa whoa whoa wait a minute… steal me away? It’s not like I answer his every beck and call, Brandon doesn’t _own_ me, JJ,’ Jordan snapped, putting away his phone and getting too defensive too quick. ‘And last time I checked, neither do you.’

‘I asked if this one was alright but I guess not, how about Dr. Strangelove?’

Jordan grabbed onto JJ’s shoulder and forced him to face him, JJ standing tall and towering over him, playing the intimidation card unintentionally. ‘Are you even listening to me? I said that Brandon doesn’t own me, and I can choose where I want to spend the night if I want,’ Jordan said, JJ snickering at his response and gently tossing the movie safely onto the couch.

‘Really? And can you choose to give up those feelings for him? Because last time I checked you were still following him around like a lovesick schoolgirl. He’s your friend, Jordan, but he’s never gunna feel the same, and it’d be better for you to just let it go now before he finds himself a permanent girlfriend and hurts you again.’ JJ’s features were trying to convey a serious look but Jordan could plainly see that it didn’t reach his eyes.

‘What does me liking him have to do with you? What does _any_ of this have to do with you? You’ve got your own love life to worry about, so why don’t you try doing _that_ for a change?’ Jordan was angry, absolutely sick of being reminded that he was going nowhere and knowing that if he didn’t stop feeling the way he did then it would always end in pain no matter what.

‘I’m _trying_ -’ JJ forced himself to say, but Jordan cut him off, taking a brave step forward and standing to his full height; JJ didn’t back down, his eyes narrowing and making Jordan shiver under their gaze.

‘Better yet, it looks like your own little “puppy crush” isn’t going anywhere either, so why don’t you try taking your own goddamn advice and letting _him_ go?’

‘ _I can’t_!’ JJ backed away, his head obviously reeling as he attempted to string together a sentence. ‘I just… I can’t.’ Jordan’s expression softened when he saw how much of an impact he’d had on him, regretting saying it even though he knew that they were both going in circles by denying the advice. ‘Sorry, we keep fighting over this every time we bring it up, and I really don’t want that. I just wanna watch a movie with you, so can we do that, please? Without talking about this anymore? I don’t wanna hear about Brandon for the rest of the night; he gets enough of your attention already.’

There was another pause between them before Jordan looked at JJ with confusion on his face, JJ panicking when he saw it. ‘Wait… are you-’

‘If you’ve been talking to Blaine I swear to god whatever he said is not true,’ JJ cut in, Jordan quite taken aback by his stern tone.

‘I haven’t been, and you don’t even know what I was going to say,’ Jordan said slowly, JJ looking away and to the discarded movie case waiting for them.

‘I have an idea…’

‘Are you sure? Because I was going to ask if you were jealous of Brandon.’ When JJ heard this his head snapped back up, his cheeks red and his hands in front of him to signal disagreement.

‘I’m not jealous! It’s just that-‘

‘Oh my god, you totally are! But why would you be jealous of Brandon? Shouldn’t you be jealous of the person your guy likes?’ Jordan trailed off as JJ frowned, a sad smile curving the corners of his lips.

‘I am.’


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who read this, it was so nice to visit it again after all these year uwu I hope you enjoy the final chapter <3

Jordan was pretty sure he heard a pin drop in the house down the street. JJ liked him? Why him? Why hadn’t he noticed? All this time he’d been concentrating on Brandon and JJ had been there for him to cheer him up, and he’d been hurting him in the exact same way because he was just as clueless. He opened his mouth to apologize, to say that he was an idiot, to tell him that maybe he should’ve punched _him_ in the face instead of Brandon-

‘Oh.’ That was all that came out. Jordan was speechless and JJ was taking it the wrong way right in front of him because he was saying sorry again and turning off the TV. ‘No wait! What I meant was, uh, damn. It’s really me?’

JJ stood there with his hand hovering over the power button before he started chuckling, that soon growing onto full on laughter, Jordan smiling nervously because he didn’t get the joke. He had no idea what to do because it wasn’t every day someone liked him, so when JJ took the few steps to close the distance between them, placed his hands on the sides of Jordan’s face and kissed him, he was stunned. His expression only made JJ more relieved, his laughter fading until he was just sighing happily, thankful that Jordan wasn’t shoving him into his TV and running out of his house.

It wasn’t until after several seconds had passed that JJ realized that he had just kissed Jordan and in turn Jordan realized that his stomach was full of butterflies if he dared put the feeling to words, and the two separated and tried to sort the whole thing out before it went any further. ‘So uh, I’ve kinda been a jackass about the whole crush thing then, haven’t I? I mean I didn’t mean to be, I just thought you liked Blaine or something if I had to pick someone,’ Jordan said awkwardly, JJ giving him a surprised look.

‘Blaine? Are you kidding me? He’s really not my type,’ JJ laughed, Jordan giving him a look.

‘And I am?’ he asked, JJ pushing his hair out of his eyes only for it to fall right back.

‘Well I certainly didn’t expect it. You’re annoying and a complete asshole and no I never teased you because I liked you, we’re not in 7th Grade, but you’re also really funny and you do have talent and I really couldn’t help myself.’ JJ chuckled a little sadly, Jordan’s scowl at being called an asshole fading. ‘I’m not asking you to like me, and I never once told you to stop liking Brandon for my sake; I just didn’t want to see you hurt anymore over him. I still feel bad for punching him and I do consider him one of my closest friends at work. I was hoping that I’d stop liking you over time and that it’d just go away but it hasn’t, and after all that’s happened this week, I really don’t want it to.’

Jordan felt his body heat up as JJ met his gaze, his hands shaking as it all came together all at once. And though he knew that as soon as he spoke there would be no going back, he couldn’t help himself because, even though he felt so strongly for Brandon and he wasn’t 100% sure of what he felt for JJ,  he really didn’t want it to go away either.

‘Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore.’ JJ’s eyes grew wide. ‘…Because I’m fairly certain I may just like you too.’ Jordan had to look away because JJ’s grin was sure to kill him and just looking at it was making him smile too, and when JJ approached him again to test the waters Jordan closed his eyes to avoid giving away how dilated his pupils probably were from them being so close. He wasn’t sure if he truly did like JJ as much as he liked Brandon, because he _really_ liked Brandon, but having JJ’s hand on his waist and, when he opened his eyes slightly, seeing his lips curved into a smile just for him, he found himself thinking that maybe this could grow to be something stronger than ‘like’.

This time when JJ kissed him again it was slow and a lot more intimate, Jordan not having the best track record with kisses seeing as no one ever kissed him, and when JJ found this out for himself he laughed softly and took the lead. Jordan allowed himself to be gently pushed back until his knees buckled and he fell onto the couch, JJ straddling him before kissing him again. Jordan grinned when they stopped to breathe because JJ was more flustered about it than he was, never having seen him like this about anybody or over anything.

He had just leaned in for another kiss when he heard his phone go off again. He reached into his pocket, JJ having to move because wow that was his leg pressed up against his hip, and when he saw that it was a new text from Brandon he looked to JJ for a silent question of, ‘What should I do?’

‘It’s up to you,’ JJ whispered, Jordan looking at his phone before tossing it over by the movie at the other end. JJ couldn’t hide his smile as Jordan shrugged and said something along the lines of, ‘I’m spending the night with you,’ he wasn’t sure because JJ’s mouth was on his own again before he had finished. Jordan could tell how badly JJ had wanted this from his kisses alone, how they became more urgent the more Jordan reciprocated them. It wasn’t long before Jordan lost himself in it all, and when JJ grinded his hips forward he could’ve sworn he saw stars.

The air became heavy with want and desire, and thankfully JJ had turned the TV off because they certainly weren’t going to need it now. Jordan actually let out a whimper when JJ backed up and stood, the both of them admiring what just their kisses had done to the other in such a short time. When JJ held out his hand to help him up, Jordan eagerly took it and followed him to the bedroom; he tried to hide how nervously excited he was and failed when JJ looked back and laughed.

JJ’s bedroom was absolutely cluttered with things that reminded Jordan just how much of a film guy JJ really was, and when JJ caught him smirking he found it was his turn to feel nervous. ‘What? Is something wrong?’ he asked, Jordan just shaking his head with a grin before pulling him onto the bed with a thud and pained laughter as one fell onto the other. JJ apologized and got to his hands and knees, Jordan rubbing his ribs as he tried to get comfy.

Their laughter died down when they just looked at each other, took in what was going on, and even though things were so laid-back despite recent confessions and first kisses, JJ still found time to have his doubts. Jordan caught on and his smile faded, a hand subconsciously reaching up to lightly touch JJ’s.

‘You’re having second thoughts, aren’t you?’ he asked, JJ trying to shake his head no but failing because he couldn’t lie to him, not anymore.

‘Is this what _you_ want, Jordan? You don’t have to be with me just because I like you, that isn’t how this works. If you really want to wait for Brandon then just tell me and I’ll stop this right now.’ Jordan could see that just thinking that statement up had hurt JJ, because he had waited just as long if not longer for his crush to find out, and now here was his big chance to make it right and see if it really could work out between them and it was all down to what Jordan wanted.

He knew he wanted Brandon, he’d known for quite some time, but honestly he couldn’t even remember how and when those thoughts started. The two worked together as friends, _everyone_ knew that, and the thoughts of them possibly getting together was always a way to lift his spirits. But here JJ was, a man who knew his good and bad sides from work, who outwardly said that he wasn’t his normal type but liked him anyway, who had recently stolen his thoughts and gave him images of a happy life where he could be loved and not have to worry about all this uncertain feelings bullshit.

He had come in out of nowhere one day and had worked next to him ever since, and now that Jordan thought about it he couldn’t deny that before his thoughts had turned to Brandon he’d briefly considered how handsome JJ was and how he’d never seen a smile so vibrant. And then he’d called him an asshole and things had gone downhill from there, and laughing at that thought only confused JJ more. It was then Jordan realized that he’d been speaking out loud and not thinking his thoughts at all, and there was a pause before:

‘You liked me first?’

Jordan thought about it a moment. ’Yeah, I guess I kinda did. And I hadn’t realized it but I’ve liked you a lot more this week too; you never really invite me out a lot, you jerk.’

JJ chuckled, only his eyes getting across how incredibly happy he was. ‘I guess I’ll have to start and make up for that then,’ he said, and then Jordan’s hand was on the back of his head and pulling him down for another kiss. They were smiling against each other’s mouths, both of them calling the other idiots as they breathed out laughs. JJ straddled Jordan again, bringing his waist down to grind against Jordan’s, and when it became evident that this was having a better reaction on the both of him than expected, they came to the conclusion that they were wearing too much clothes.

JJ sat back to undo Jordan’s shirt, commenting under his breath how stupid he looked coming into work in bowties and fancy shoes. Jordan laughed before an accidental brush of fingers against his chest made him sharply inhale.

‘You’re no better with your dumb leather jacket and Converse,’ he retorted, JJ laughed quickly and saying that they were even then. As soon as all the buttons were undone JJ opened his shirt slowly, his lip finding a place between his teeth as he just watched Jordan’s chest rise and fall with each careful breath. ‘Sorry, this is all I have,’ Jordan joked nervously, suddenly becoming extremely self-conscious over the watchful eyes of the editor.

‘No it’s- _you’re_ \- perfect,’ JJ breathed, and then he was kissing Jordan’s chest, each touch gentle and savouring each connection of lips against skin. Jordan sighed and let his head fall back onto the pillows, taking a deep breath and just feeling surrounded by everything that was JJ, convinced that he was going to get drunk off of it all. He had never felt like this before, not even in his fantasies, and threading his hand through JJ’s untamable hair only to have him look up at him with those dark, tired eyes was more perfect than he ever could’ve imagined.

Jordan bit back a laugh when JJ sat back to undo his jeans, his hands fumbling over his belt as he cursed himself. ‘Fuckin’ skinny jeans…’ he heard him growl, and sitting back and watching him take them off was just as funny as it was alluring. As he tried as hard as he could to not rip the button and off and break the zipper, JJ looked down and groaned, his mouth forming a straight line of irritation. ‘Christ, you’re wearing them too!’

‘Well they _are_ comfy,’ Jordan said as he failed at hiding his amusement. Of course he stopped laughing when JJ successfully removed them and his familiar striped t-shirt, his mouth going dry and his face heating up as he took in the sight before him.

Because JJ usually worked in looser shirts and layers, from hoodies to jackets to other things that typically hid his body shape, Jordan was surprised to see that JJ wasn’t as stick thin as he looked. His skin was tan and soft-looking, Jordan subconsciously letting his hand reach out to touch him. He drew back when he noticed JJ’s eyes follow the movement, clearing his throat and trying to pretend like he didn’t just do that. JJ didn’t even laugh at him this time, just reached down to take his hand and place it over his chest.

Feeling his heart beat under his palm was the most real thing Jordan had ever experienced. He just wished that he could put into words how everything felt without ruining it with a gay joke, because he was pretty certain JJ would throw him out of his house if he did. He was _that_ not used to this kind of thing.

The more clothing that got removed the more nervous Jordan became, not knowing at all what JJ’s preference was seeing as he didn’t normally go for guys and/or girls like him. JJ managed to kiss all his insecurities away though every time, sometimes even whispering more to himself than to Jordan exactly what he liked about his body and what he loved. When they were down to just their boxers it was easy to see how effected they were, Jordan because he could only last so long before JJ’s gentle touches got to him, and JJ because the person he’d liked for so long was on his bed, almost completely undressed and waiting for him.

JJ took a deep breath and reached for Jordan’s waistband, his fingers dipping under the elastic before he froze. Jordan propped himself up on his elbows, his concern quite evident on his face. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, JJ meeting his gaze to see that he was just as nervous about where it was about to go as he was.

‘We don’t have to… y’know, if you don’t want to,’ he said, Jordan’s face turning red as he sat up a bit more.

‘Well, I want to-’ He felt JJ’s hands start to shake, ‘-but not tonight.’ Both of them secretly sighed with relief.

‘“Tonight.” Does that mean that there’ll be other nights, then?’ JJ asked, his voice actually breaking in what was either excitement or nervousness.

‘I would’ve thought that was obvious,’ Jordan said with a grin, JJ calming down now that he wasn’t rushed or required to do anything either of them would regret in the morning. ‘I _would_ like you to move right now though, because this is kinda killing me.’ JJ nodded and, after he swallowed his doubts, proceeded to remove Jordan’s last article of clothing.

The resulting accidental brush of JJ’s knuckles against Jordan’s inner thigh was what set the two in motion. It was as if all their anxiety about giving this a try had vanished in a second and a newfound courage rose in their chests. Jordan pulled JJ up to him and kissed him, the both of them gasping for air within seconds. JJ scooted forward on the bed so that skin would rub against fabric, Jordan reaching between them to fix this because it wasn’t fair and he was certain that if he didn’t get to touch JJ soon he might burst.

JJ stopped the kiss long enough to finish stripping, the heat surrounding them intense and passionate, made of pure desire and the both of them drinking it in. Jordan found out soon enough that JJ was very good with his hands, touching whatever he could and refraining from scratching the skin he preferred to ravish. The way he ran delicate trails over his ribs and hips had chills running down Jordan’s spine, and the way he smiled when he kissed and sucked at his neck encouraged the sweetest sounds from Jordan’s mouth.

Jordan let out a choked gasp when he felt JJ buck his hips against him, the contact causing sparks to ignite under his skin and making his head spin. He fell back against the mattress as JJ took them both into his hand, stroking quickly but giving more attention to Jordan. Neither of them could form a single word, Jordan the worst by far because this had to be a dream, there was no way a person could feel that good just from that, but sure enough when he opened his eyes JJ was still there, his lips parted slightly as he tried to keep his breathing steady. He failed the closer he got to release, his head falling down and his breaths coming out in heavy pants.

In an act of wanting more friction, JJ began to thrust into his hand as well, Jordan clinging to the bed sheets as his back arched off the mattress. ‘Fuck- JJ, _fuck_ -’ Jordan moaned, JJ liking the resulting sounds of what he was reducing Jordan to, and when  Jordan came first he immediately let go of himself to help him through it. Jordan whimpered as he came down from his high, his heart beating so loud and so fast that it was impossible JJ couldn’t feel it when he placed a hand on Jordan’s chest to steady himself.

‘Can I?’ he breathed out, Jordan noticing that JJ was holding back, his hand shaking as he tried not to touch himself just in case Jordan wasn’t interested in watching. Of course he wouldn’t admit that he kinda was, so he merely closed his mouth, which had formed a nice O-shape when he took in the stunning image, and nodded. JJ thanked him, the words hissed out through clenched teeth as he worked himself to release, Jordan’s face more than likely stained red for all eternity as his stomach and chest were coloured white even more.

JJ didn’t even bother trying to hold himself up for any longer, collapsing to Jordan’s side and just lying there as they tried to catch their breath. Jordan turned his head to look at JJ, the silence only filled with heavy breathing until they were laughing, Jordan running a hand through his hair and JJ propping himself up on an elbow so he could look for his ever elusive tissue box that he had lost the last time he was sick. Compared to when they had arrived the two were completely comfortable around each other, Jordan actually surprised that he didn’t feel awkward or embarrassed about what had happened in the least. He’d honestly expected it to end and for them to exchange a few mumbled words about how they rushed into it a little too quick and that this might end up being something they’d regret, but instead JJ was getting up and stumbling around his room in the nude to find a bent tissue box and it just felt right.

JJ held up the box with a happy, ‘Found it!’ and Jordan chuckled, sitting up and starting to clean himself off. ‘Sorry about that, I swear that next time I won’t be so…’ he admired his handiwork with a devilish grin, ‘eager.’

‘As long as you don’t leave me like this then I don’t give a shit,’ Jordan snickered, tossing the dirty tissues into the bin JJ held out for him. ‘Just don’t get it in my hair, ever. Then I’ll be mad.’

‘Done.’ JJ slumped back down onto the mattress, Jordan using the last of his energy to move over so there was enough room; he did not want to risk JJ possibly crushing him by making him crawl over him to get to the other side. ‘Of course you’d have to be in a _pretty specific position_ first for me to attempt th- ow!’ The two laughed as JJ rubbed his arm where Jordan had hit him, the latter ready to steal all the blankets and just go to bed when he felt him shift around and a thought hit him.

‘I know it’s cliché, but are you gunna have a smoke now?’ he asked, JJ thinking about it for a second.

‘Would the smoke bother you?’

‘Yeah, a little bit.’

‘Then no.’ Jordan thanked him, getting comfy and closing his eyes before JJ spoke again, his tone different. ‘This _was_ okay, wasn’t it? Does this mean you chose me or was this just a, y’know, a one-time deal? I know you said there’d be future times but honestly I don’t think I could pull off a “friends with benefits” type relationship with anybody, especially you.’

Jordan thought to himself before rolling over and draping half of his body on top of JJ, accidentally-but-not-really knocking the air out of him. ‘Well you don’t have to worry about that, because I don’t think I could either.’ He tried to keep a straight face, but JJ’s smile was seriously going to be the death of him, even though he hated when he gave him that damn smirk whenever he messed with him at the office.

‘So we’re-?’

‘Yeah, we’re dating if you don’t want to bother actually asking me out or anything-’ JJ immediately began to sputter out apologies and that he’d had no time yet, ‘-but I do expect you to take me to lunch all next week to make up for all the trouble you caused me in the past,’ Jordan said, giving JJ a quick kiss only to find that damn smirk in place of his smile.

‘Lunch I can do, but don’t expect me to stop giving you trouble. And move over, _I’m_ the Big Spoon here, Princess.’ JJ pushed Jordan off of him and mirrored his earlier move, Jordan letting out a grunt at the sudden weight on his ribcage. JJ kissed him on the cheek before pulling the blankets over them and sending someone’s pants to the floor with a muffled clang of a belt buckle hitting the carpet.

‘I still can’t believe I never caught on that you liked me,’ Jordan muttered to himself as sleep began to overtake him.

‘You’ve been hanging around Brandon too long; his slowness is catching,’ JJ whispered back, the sound of tired chuckling filling the room before it went silent.

The next morning Jordan awoke to an empty bed, an instant sad frown on his face before he smelled food and heard the TV blaring some movie in the background. He grabbed the clothes he figured were his and headed for the kitchen, JJ making breakfast and swaying his hips to an imaginary tune. He spun around and nearly knocked over the cup of coffee cooling on the counter beside him when Jordan snickered, the sound startling him more than it should have with the rest of the noise going on around them.

‘Good morning! I was going to surprise you with breakfast but obviously that didn’t work out,’ JJ said with a sheepish grin, Jordan stealing a slice of bacon before asking where the bathroom was. ‘Around the corner and to the left, and don’t use up all my hot water or I’m going to kill you. Oh, and those are my pants, by the way.’

As Jordan shut the bathroom door and finished off his bacon, he closed his eyes and smiled contentedly as he listened to the sounds of a typical JJ morning, really liking what he heard. After his shower the two drove back to Brandon’s apartment, JJ on his bike and Jordan taking the car. He packed a bag and apologized for not returning his messages, barely remembering to tell Brandon that he’d be staying at JJ’s all weekend and would be going in to work with him on Monday.

Finally Jordan got to experience what it was like to ride a motorcycle with JJ. Frankly it was terrifying but incredibly invigorating at the same time. JJ asked him out officially over dinner that night, and Jordan honestly couldn’t have been happier.

When Monday rolled around after what seemed like an eternity, everyone at the Annex was shocked to see the two come in together. Everyone except Blaine, that is, and Brandon to everyone else’s surprise; he claimed that he could see JJ’s crush on Jordan from a mile away and was wondering how no one else caught on, because seriously it was so incredibly obvious, were they blind?

Jordan, JJ, and Blaine all laughed at him, the others holding back their own laughter as Brandon desperately tried to get in on the joke. Jordan absentmindedly traced JJ’s wrist tattoos with his finger as he and Brandon argued over it, Blaine holding up his hands in defeat and not bothering to join in. Jordan smiled to himself all the while, wondering how he was possibly going to draw the tattoos on JJ’s animated persona’s stick wrist.


End file.
